Pennsylvania Lawmakers: No Booze for Bums!

Buddy, can you spare a tax-payer backed benefits card?

"Buddy, can you spare a benefits card?"

Finally, lawmakers in the PA House of Representatives are getting serious about the big issues. The issues that us taxpayers really care about. That keep us awake at night…

Like welfare recipients using their benefit cards to buy alcohol for instance. Personally, I can’t tell you how outraged I was to find out that this may-or-may-not be a problem! The measure also bans the use of child support payments for alcohol purchases. Which I’m guessing may-or-may-not be a problem as well!

Godamn welfare rats using my hard-earned tax dollars to [maybe] buy alcohol! Thank God I can count on my elected officials to squash this [hypothetical] epidemic!

See, dear readers, what you probably don’t know is, because Pennsylvania is not your typical state—we’re fond of calling ourselves a Commonwealth (even though we fit no accepted definition of said)—we have some nifty Quakery-type outfits like the PLCB. The Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board. That’s right… you guessed it… the fucking State runs the liquor stores!

So, for fun lets pretend that this problem actually exists—neither the State Department of Public Welfare nor the Liquor Control Board compile statistics on such purchases (read: they don’t even fucking know if it actually happens). Why do we need another fucking law for this!?!

Can’t Governor Edward G. Rendell (D) or Liquor Control Board Chairman Patrick J. Stapleton, III—fucking do something and actually manage the fucking operation? Set policy. Employ technology. Something. Something other than perpetuating stereotypes of people they don’t even know and wouldn’t speak to if they did.

How much taxpayer-funded booze do you suppose is purchased every year for official functions, etc.  in Harrisburg?

I’m sorry if this comes off like a rant. But these people are just fucking assholes.

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